The past three years have been filled so much love, laughter and contentment but the truth be told, it hasn’t been all round smooth years, we’ve had some downs too, somehow we survived living under the same roof without removing each other’s teeth (Lol!) even though I couldn’t help my own sharp mouth sometimes (sorry, all the time) and Sinmisola’s gentle and quiet demeanour will not stop making me get angry the more.
Isn’t it amazing how the things that used to attract you in a person could sometimes infuriate you? Smh!
I know you’re here to feel mushy but marriage is not all about the mushiness, marriage is real work!
So permit me to share with you first, the wisdom from the three major lessons I learnt in my 3years of being married to my best friend of almost 13years, whew!
Marriage is a revealer and an eye-opener, quick advice to my single brethren, you can’t fight successfully on every front, so choose your battle wisely, please do! Every marriage has a story behind the glory, don’t get it twisted.
1. I learnt that Sinmisola is not my number one, God is!
I am first known, loved, and chosen by God before Sinmisola, in fact, God loved me before meeting me but Sinmisola only loved me after meeting me and I can’t guarantee that his love for me has been hundred percent stable over the years but Abba’s love for me has been and hasn’t for once wavered.
Also because my relationship with God will determine the quality of my marriage with Sinmisola. The closer I get to God, the closer he also gets, (as we seek God together) the closer He draws us to each other.
I’ve taken it more seriously and always striving to grow in my walk with Abba, it defines a whole lot of things for my life and especially my marriage.
Trying to seek what only God can do for me from my spouse has always left a hole in my heart, so I’ve learnt to seek God first and above all else.
Even when we are having it rough, I’ve learnt to take it to God, a lot of times I cry but I’ve always left the place of communion with my Father strengthened, refreshed and feeling better.
So, it’s safe to say Sinmisola is my number two!
2. I learnt it’s okay to fight but fight fair and healthy.
Conflict in any marriage is inevitable (btw, you should be worried if I come here to say we never fight) because there are no two human beings that can be exactly the same way, so I agree that trying to make Sinmisola act like me was lame in the first instance!
I’ve known him for 13years and I still haven’t fully learnt what communication really means to him, (it has been a struggle but I believe there will be a breakthrough soon) and that makes me talk a lot and most times, I say what I didn’t mean and intended to. What a shame right? But I’m not ashamed to say it.
Marriage is a journey and not a destination, it okay to learn as we go. Each phase of the journey will unfold itself. It’s the basic truth! My truth!
We chose to be together after all, so the responsibility to make it work lies with us.
It will be foolishness to want to win individually when you can win together, so fighting fair and healthy is better.
Fun fact: I’ve always refused to do anything for Sinmisola whenever we are fighting but he does everything for me. I know it’s wrong but I’m repenting. Lol!
3. I’ve learnt to forgive both the seemingly little and the seriously serious offences.
The seemingly little offences are the things that should’ve been overlooked in the first place but you can’t help but talk about it because you refused to let it go.
Even though I committed to forgiving everything and anything at all before we got married, marriage taught me the reality. It is not as easy as it seems but my heart is being worked on by the Holy Ghost, daily!
So, nothing Sinmisola does that can’t be forgiven! It’s a resolution I made before I became joined with him in marriage. I decided to practice advance forgiveness, this has helped me a lot. It has protected my sanity and helped maintain my peace.
I am aware it may get hard sometimes but knowing I can as well enjoy such generosity and compassion from God at any time gives me the courage to move on.
Oh! So you thought he’s a perfect man, he does no wrong abi! Yinmu! Let’s not even start! Lol! He’s a gentleman though but he do steps on my toes. #OfcourseYes!
To some people, these offences are never any big deal but they are deal-breaker for me.
Above all, I’m thankful we’ve not failed God, one of the critical questions we have often asked each other has been ‘Is God Pleased?’
Also, taking this as an assignment from God has been a priority, even when it gets hard along the way, we know God will always make available the grace required for the journey so, I’m grateful for grace and sustenance.
Happy 3rd Wedding Anniversary My Favourite Man,
You’re one person I really like and love at the same time.
It comes naturally for me even in my anger, I like you.
When you decide to drain all the love you filled in my love tank by yourself, I still get along somehow because I like you.
I love how genuine and real you always get with God. It’s rare! I don’t get to see such around, a lot of people mask it but you don’t, you never did.
I love your amazing personality, it annoys me some times though. #Straightface
I love your heart the most, your acts of service are next to none! Thank you for always being a true servant leader.
I love how kind you are and of course how handsome you look.
May our love flame keep burning forever
May our hearts be made in one always
May our 3foldcord never be easily broken.
When life gets hard, may we find the courage to press on
When hope deferred, may our faith be strengthened
When there is no new song, let’s swing to the melody in our hearts.
Grow old along with me baby
When our eyes are dim and steps are slow
Let’s keep loving and dancing into our twilight years.
I love you forever and a day more. ❤
P.S: I had a nudge in my spirit to pray:
Thank you Lord for Your beautiful idea and institution called marriage, I pray for every married person reading this, may your marriage forever bring glory to Abba, may your love for each other never wax cold, may you constantly follow and be taught of the Lord and great shall your peace be, amen!
Remember to always keep God at the centre and don’t fight dirty.
For every troubled home, I speak peace into your affairs, I declare your home is restored by the outstretched arm of Yahweh!
The will of God for you is to enjoy yourselves, you will no longer fight each other, rather you will be held by the Lord to fight together and have victory over the devil who’s trying to kill your joy, steal your home and destroy your love, he has no place in your home anymore and his enterprise is abolished in Jesus matchless name, amen!
Do seek godly counsel if you need to.
For everyone trusting the Lord for marital settlement, I declare you shall find and be found, you will not miss God’s will for you, you will not ‘miss-marry‘, there shall be a supernatural orchestration and divine meeting that will culminate in a glorious settlement for you and very soon, we shall rejoice with you in Jesus name, amen!
BTW, if you came here to read anniversary note, do endeavour to read other blog posts too, I am assured you will be richly blessed by them as well.
Thank you and God bless you.
Keep flourishing! 💋